Bad things come in threes. That’s what everyone says, right? A mantra to get through the pain you’re experiencing. A way of coping until everything gets better. One. You lose a friend. Two. You miss your flight. Three. You get a cold.

Bad things come in threes…

Until they don’t. Because, they rarely ever do stop at three. That’s not how life works. The universe doesn’t pay attention to how many bad things happen to you and say, “Woah, hold up! Gotta give ‘em a break. They’ve had three.”

Bad things don’t come in threes. Bad things simply happen.

I get it, though. It’s not something we say because it’s true. We say it because it gives us something to hold onto when the world won’t stop spinning. We say it because it comes with the promise of hope, of better days to come. The same idea with sayings like, “when it rains, it pours.” Because tomorrow, the sun will come out again. Tomorrow, everything will be…better.

I’ve spent my entire life listening to people quote these sayings. I’ve done it myself many times. I’ve done it, knowing that they’re just words. Empty comfort. 

Sometimes when it rains, it does pour. Sometimes, bad things happen, and we stop noticing after the third one hits. But there’s no rule for how many bad things are going to happen to you. There’s no guarantee of an end to that pain.

It’s optimism. Not a bad thing. Trying to see the cup half-full. But I’m not optimistic, and I only ever pretend to be. I’m actually more realistic. It’s why it hurts that much more when the fourth bad thing comes. I want to be wrong. I want optimists to be right. I want to be optimistic. I’m simply not. One. I wake up and wonder what it’s all for. Two. I look in the bathroom mirror and hate who I see. Three. I can’t get anything to work the way it should, failing myself again. Four. I can’t move from the pressure. Repeat.

Recently, I’ve been having a lot of trouble coping with my anxiety/depression. I’ve been trying to find new outlets to improve things. I plan on posting little stories/thoughts in the hopes of just getting them out. My posts will likely be dark or “edgy”, but the goal is more to express what I am feeling in a moment/day. I am only really making this public because it might be useful for someone else going through the same types of feelings. You’re not alone. It just feels that way sometimes.